my painful memories

Long time ago,during i studyed at primary school have one of the incident happened,when i still in a child,i was the happiness people and talkative,but after this incident i become quiet down,this memories always flooded on my mind during last time,but lastly i was dare out my first step, because of this incident,after i told my friend,they will repel me and far away from me.But nevermind,because when i with the god,i not afraid anything,if we follow the word of god,we will be saved,because he used his blood to wash our sins,in the end of this world the who trust the jesus christ was him or her father,they will be saved,but who not believed father,they will go to the hell and not be saved.
Maybe after i write this blog related my privacy,the people was think me as a stupid person,but in my mind i will said NO,in the beginning actually the adam and eve can live with peaceful life,but because they don't listen the advises,so the problem was happened,one people actually haven't problem,just only we go to find the problem making ourself troblesome,if we want to back our father kingdom,we needed served him and love him with hundred percent with no any mistrust,just like the life beginning as adam as eve.i love god so much and don't want any problem in myself,so i was tell the truthfulness.whereas it was a painful memories,when i around seven year old i was raped by the man,it continuing happened two years unstopped,my family also don't know this incident,because i was thing this is shame,in the beginning i felt my body was very dirty dirty.....but after that i just only crying alone during every night,besides that i very hated my whole family and my uncle and aunt,the man was the worker of my uncle,why always hate them,why can't take care me,just only work work and work,in their eyes only have money,no other thing already.
moreover,i planning to revenged the people hurt me like that,because after that the male people touch me i will felt abusing and can't accepted,i can't revenged because i still small,when i secondary school,i met one people,he was a malay guy,he was very kind,i told them i want revenge to somebody,but what can i do it,he introduce his black metal teacher to me,i already follow the teacher learn about the oath,i want extra pay back my painful the man in the world give me,but lastly i have uses the black magic of my teacher,i was happy when the man painful because of my oath,At the same time,because i wanted more powerful oath,i promise gave my whole life and spirit control by the demon to changed the darkness power.i saw my friend become crazy because learned this black magic,i have little bit woke up from darkness,but the demon they never let me do that,because i said spirit was control by them,i have trying to suicide commit,but can't,after that i everyday closes in the room and don't want going to the school,but many of the teacher came to my house and call me for the school,i very appreciated to miss chan,she was bring me to the church and let me know life was colourful,At the same time i burned all the application about the black magic.now my houses still have one of the book related the black magic i still not destroyed,because i miss the book.
Finally,after i go to the church started last year 2008/21/12,i know the god very love me and don't wanted me walk a wrong road,he want me served him and follow him forever and ever,so each time i strong love the god,the demon was trying destroyed me between with the god,it was pull me down and hope me listen to demon,so this time incident was gave me large impact,the demon always talk in my heart,but trying and stopping the devil talk to me,now i very happy can meet the friend from my group,whether was no so close,but i was trying with the order of god,i afraid to talk with them sometimes was the demon let me know the people was scared and will hurt me.
Demon i told you,i will not allowed you stay in my heart,you can't pull me down,with the name of jesus,i wanted you out of my body forever,my heart just for my loving god,i just wanna worship him and glory him,in the name of jesus i pray Amen.

i love you so much my lord,i don't hated the people on the world,thank you god you let me learn the thing from the movie and word from the pastor mouth,you told me can't lie during do anything,you told me must not lie to any people,because in the life of lying,cannot happy.yeah,i can do it jesus,i can do it.......thank you lord,i worship you i worship you