The Whole Life Of Richard Mah

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'll do something out of mind

why my parent always like this,whatever what i say,they didn't trust me,i say the true,but they just say lie,i'm 20 year old on this year,why i can't make decision with myself,why i needed controlling by all of your,why...
Just calling to me asking something about the thing i don't know,after that,asking me about my studies,i say i not very good in every subject,but you started scolding me,always tell me go back home,always pushing me stopped the studies,what are you all planning about??
i always crazy and lost of emotional because all of you,i can't forgive you all,you all was the closes relation with me,we are family,i don't know how to do when you always make me uncomfortable,you all always not support me,moreover,just only how to scolded me,and find out the problem about me,all the people have their weakeness,you all also have,it can't be denied,i really wanted to commit suicide,i don't want leave in this evil world,i really can't stay with your all,i already grew up and i'm not a child anymore,i have the way to go through my own life,no need your all worried about me...i really really wanna don't want my life,if have next time,please don't force pleasure again,please, when i die,you all(family) no need to cry and whatever done to me,don't boder me

Sunday, February 22, 2009

my lover

think of me,think of me fondly,when we said goodbye,Remember me,once in a while ,please promise me you'll try,When you find_that once again you long_to take your heart back and be free,if you ever find a moment,spare a thought for me.Think of me,think of me waking silent and resigned,imagine me,trying too hard to put you from my mind,Recall those days,look back on ................

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

no one understand me

this world no one people understand me including my parent,i really feel disappointed to them,human are evil,all of your just planning how to steal or stolen somebody property,my heart during in recovered,but suddenly this type of incident to me again,this was big impact to me,my heart just in scare,whereas i already pray to the god,you all are bad person,i really difficulty to breathing every second and minute,my pressure was difficulty to cope and if i one of day............................i just say sorry.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Miracle....

yesterday i actually was controlling by the emotional and unrational thinking,because the people who name john steal my money,and besides that he said don't know me who am i,at that time i really lose controlling,i whole day can't consume any food because angry,Furthermore,i can't concentration during we have group worshiping to the lord,my eyes only fully with the hated and i have think,if i can't overcome the problem,i will used my own way to punishing him.
after while,i told the problem out to wei lin and after wei lin back his hometown,i also saying out what happened to me with my family in church,they told me must forgave anyone,can't hated in the heart.
i very appreaciated to the lord,he let me saw something during the 6.30pm worship timing,before i entering the worship time,i have pray in the heart can't have hated,must fulfilled with love,and i asking god,it is become back myself and no turn back the person who controlling by the darkness.Luckly,the god bring the word and answer through the pastor in the church.the god said to me about the bible LUKE: CHAPTER 21,1-4,it said about the widow with their all treasure.in this incident my loving lord told me about why because of a money and gave up him,and during any different environment must much love him than before,he told me many thing....
i already forgave the people who stealed my money,one of the day,my christ will do the judgement.i love all the people in the world,jesus i love you,i will not leave you forever and ever.

Yesterday was history

Tommorrow was the mystery

Today was the gift

Thursday, February 12, 2009

the darkness is back

the darkness in my heart he's back,i know and feeling his around me,alone can make me far away from the people,today i went out just filled up my mineral water at machine which need to pay,i scared look the people faces and afraid nearest to people,my heart was difficulty to breath and somemore no braver facing the incident which already past,i always saw myself have a tail,i don't want the tail,pls go away from me,maybe lasttime i need it,but now i not need any tail and power,scaring.....scaring.......

Monday, February 9, 2009

Wow,Delicious.........

i have been long time ago didn't cooked,today i suddenly feel very boring and nothing to do,just now i went to the kitchen and cooked some food,maybe i stopped cooked a longer time,some nice taste was lesses,but my food less cholesterol,healthy,taken much no easier obesity,but it is so delicious......

Friday, February 6, 2009

Wonderful day

Yesterday i was so happy,because having dinner with my brother and sister nearest sunway piramid,the restaurant have BBQ and steambot only,Wow,this was the day i ate a lot of seafood,i taken a plate and goes to took many of the crab,prawn,BBQ chicken and etc.thank my lord given me this delicious food and combined all your child together.
Besides that, whereas i taken a lot this food were made me fat and high cholesterol,but nevermind,we all happy and god you happy,i will continue have this type good relationship with my family,After finish consumed our food,we have some desserts,such as fruit,ice-cream and pastries...
Moreover,after all,we go to ling fong houses call on the chinese new year's or shortly thereafter,usually with a present,that was angpau,haha,i just get RM 2 in the angpau,but nevermind,wah a lot angpau in the plastic bag with more than 10 above angpau to let us choose.
After all,we went back to our own stayed places, me,joanne.william,wei lin and two person,which was i forgot their name, in comfortable,peaceful,and happiness heart addition tired went back to ours places.


jesus,i love you,you let me love you much than before me love you,i want to worship your name,glory your name and praised,i want pray to our family at church in each group,hope you give us power to bring new people to trust you and follow you,i pray to all people in the world all in peaceful and happy because of your love.In jesus name i pray Amen.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Worses day for me

today was the worses day to me,at the morning,i woke up late,but hopefully i'm not late for attend the class,Besides that,the library sent me a letter and past to the SPUS department and give to me by the class chairman.After that,today i needed go to bank for apply my Atm card,because i already apply back my temporary MyCard,before when i went the bank,i asking my friend it is really can apply back my Atm card,my friend shows his Atm card to me,is real,he applies by the temporary identiti card,why i can't applying,when i take the ticket and sat i front of the customer service,the lady said to me can't apply,i ask why,she say this is the bank rules,why other bank can apply back the Atm card,just only this PUBLIC BANK can't give me to apply,what the shit,i really angry and take all my thing and go out from the bank.

this bank really useless,what kind of rules,other bank can applying,why you cannot,better go eat shit.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Miss the college

i have been long time absent for attended the class after the rob incident,but today was my first day go to study,just finish my chinese new year break,i was happy go to school because that was my wonderful,i can saw the lecture and classmate...today i was move out from my rented house to another house.in the morning,i packing all the thing and ready to move,because my friend drive his own car to help me and help him.i was happy,the people at the house was so nice....