The Whole Life Of Richard Mah

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Sunday was relaxing day to me


Today didn't have a bible class,i have somemore sad,because can't listen the word from the god,i really love listen the word,but nevermind,we can read the bible by own,Sometimes the god will give me some apocalyppse,my father let me saw her kingdom was nearest to this world,he also let me know the end of the world,last time i told my friend to capture one of the picture which i saw was just like the notice from the god,the end of the world.
Yesterday i went to church,in the beginning i was somemore afraid because of the incident,when the time was pass very fast ,i became more comfortable,after i heared jim pei talking about herself how to royal to the god i was somemore happy.i know the god was come to this world and bring all the church brother,sister,father and mother or couple going to his kingdom,i need to served you god as i promises to you before,i will don't give up whereas have any ordeal you let go through,my heart was strong as before,i wanted write the beautiful and the song of heaven to you,i love music,vocal,thank you jesus you give me all the best thing,now i just got little bit problem on my piano class i planning before,because of economic crisis now,i needed cancelled the planning,i pray with you jesus,i know you can helping solving my family economic crisis and all economic problem in the world by you.i trust you,i know you can and you are the best.
After the serving,we go to ate some food prepared by the family on the church,i love this family,they all are very kind,nobody in evil hearted,i love you jesus give me all this thing,After that we going to cinema watched the movie which is "The wedding game",in this movie i learned much of the thing,i appreacited i have one perfect leader and her assistant and all my group member,thank you all of you supportive me,i were never forget you all.i will tell the god bless all of you much and much,after that we together going to the kingdom or houses of the god.

my painful memories

Long time ago,during i studyed at primary school have one of the incident happened,when i still in a child,i was the happiness people and talkative,but after this incident i become quiet down,this memories always flooded on my mind during last time,but lastly i was dare out my first step, because of this incident,after i told my friend,they will repel me and far away from me.But nevermind,because when i with the god,i not afraid anything,if we follow the word of god,we will be saved,because he used his blood to wash our sins,in the end of this world the who trust the jesus christ was him or her father,they will be saved,but who not believed father,they will go to the hell and not be saved.
Maybe after i write this blog related my privacy,the people was think me as a stupid person,but in my mind i will said NO,in the beginning actually the adam and eve can live with peaceful life,but because they don't listen the advises,so the problem was happened,one people actually haven't problem,just only we go to find the problem making ourself troblesome,if we want to back our father kingdom,we needed served him and love him with hundred percent with no any mistrust,just like the life beginning as adam as eve.i love god so much and don't want any problem in myself,so i was tell the truthfulness.whereas it was a painful memories,when i around seven year old i was raped by the man,it continuing happened two years unstopped,my family also don't know this incident,because i was thing this is shame,in the beginning i felt my body was very dirty dirty.....but after that i just only crying alone during every night,besides that i very hated my whole family and my uncle and aunt,the man was the worker of my uncle,why always hate them,why can't take care me,just only work work and work,in their eyes only have money,no other thing already.
moreover,i planning to revenged the people hurt me like that,because after that the male people touch me i will felt abusing and can't accepted,i can't revenged because i still small,when i secondary school,i met one people,he was a malay guy,he was very kind,i told them i want revenge to somebody,but what can i do it,he introduce his black metal teacher to me,i already follow the teacher learn about the oath,i want extra pay back my painful the man in the world give me,but lastly i have uses the black magic of my teacher,i was happy when the man painful because of my oath,At the same time,because i wanted more powerful oath,i promise gave my whole life and spirit control by the demon to changed the darkness power.i saw my friend become crazy because learned this black magic,i have little bit woke up from darkness,but the demon they never let me do that,because i said spirit was control by them,i have trying to suicide commit,but can't,after that i everyday closes in the room and don't want going to the school,but many of the teacher came to my house and call me for the school,i very appreciated to miss chan,she was bring me to the church and let me know life was colourful,At the same time i burned all the application about the black magic.now my houses still have one of the book related the black magic i still not destroyed,because i miss the book.
Finally,after i go to the church started last year 2008/21/12,i know the god very love me and don't wanted me walk a wrong road,he want me served him and follow him forever and ever,so each time i strong love the god,the demon was trying destroyed me between with the god,it was pull me down and hope me listen to demon,so this time incident was gave me large impact,the demon always talk in my heart,but trying and stopping the devil talk to me,now i very happy can meet the friend from my group,whether was no so close,but i was trying with the order of god,i afraid to talk with them sometimes was the demon let me know the people was scared and will hurt me.
Demon i told you,i will not allowed you stay in my heart,you can't pull me down,with the name of jesus,i wanted you out of my body forever,my heart just for my loving god,i just wanna worship him and glory him,in the name of jesus i pray Amen.

i love you so much my lord,i don't hated the people on the world,thank you god you let me learn the thing from the movie and word from the pastor mouth,you told me can't lie during do anything,you told me must not lie to any people,because in the life of lying,cannot happy.yeah,i can do it jesus,i can do it.......thank you lord,i worship you i worship you

Friday, January 30, 2009

31/1/2009,.........

now almost 4 a.m,i still can't sleep,i wanted find somebody chatting also difficulty,all the person also need to sleep and rest,now just only me was sleeplessness,i have no mood started that day,i just only can write the blog to said out what was in my heart to you,besides that was my great father,father don't let me alone,you have greater power to recover me,why the human in the world like this,why?????????????why they likes rob people treasured,why don't go find the job and work properly,you know it can make the people at everywhere scared and worried about.god i hope you can early come to this world to bring me to your kingdom,besides that destroyed this evil world and evil people,let them get a punishment on the hell,ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

scared on my heart

god i pray for you i needed a comfortable heart in mine,god i don't know why i can't sleep after the incident i faced last week,each time i closes my eyes,i would saw the robber used knife hurting me,even i try to forgot it,but it was difficult.because when i go anyway or bought something nearest the place i stayed,when the time i saw the motorcycle,i were became panic and nervous,i really really scared and afraid,i everyday insomnolence and crying on the bed until my eyes as red as the tomatoes.i was very painful now it really,nobody know,i scared one of the days i were fall down in a swoon,Why each time during i trust you very much the demon trying to pull me down from you,but this time was a big ordeal from your,i really hardness to recover,now i was in a sick..mentality sick...darkness everyday wrap me up and following me,i don't want it,please take it always,please take it away.i can't smile with happiness heart from the god,each time all smile was lying myself,i can't smile after rob,all was .......

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I'm Free

Through you the blind will see
Through you the mute will sing
Through you the dead will rise

Through you my hearts will praise
Through you the darkness flees
Through you my heart screams

I AM FREE

I am free to run
I am free to dance
I am free to live for you

I'm free,I'm free,I'm free




hello everybody,i just came back from my hometown,happy chinese new year all of you......

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Indignation and rancor

my heart was wrath and painful,i can't forgive the people do that to me,i really uncontrolled myself already,i can't sleep in comfortable situation,because anger in my mind about lost all the important thing,in the beginning,my heart was nothing happening,but after the rob happened my heart want to revenge,i want they all have extra pain,just like they hurt me and make my mentality to be frightened.all the malay are useless,have a job don't want to work,just only rob people thing and besides that,the poliemen and policewomen also like that,all of them are lazy,just only eat and sat on the office,behaviour and no manner.they must know when a fete day coming,they must be much of rob happened and the police must taken the action to protect the people around the country,they must to patrol each area of the places.malaysian defences really poor and worse..it make me felt uncomfortable and need to scared everyday.

Monday, January 19, 2009

unlucky days

yesterday 10p.m was rob by the robber on taman bunga raya with my friend,all the important thing was rob,in beside that,my hand also injury by hurt from the robber,i told him,you can take all the thing,but give back the sim card to me,but he never do that,he using the parang hurting my hand,besides that,all my book and gone and my tarc college ID card was also rob,now i didn't have any sen in mine,i asking friend help me,he have many excuse,why,if them have problem i help them a lot,but i have problem,the people keep away from me,actually i already forgive people,now happen like this kind incident,i was not forgve them,my heart was broken again.................painful,i were give benjamin extra revenge....

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Weakeness

Day by day,my body become more weakeness.Besides that,my healthy situation also got problem,my body were pop up different kind of the dot or other thing i never been before.yesterday i fall in sick.Sometimes i was thinking it is the end of my life or the time i was faced with my beloved god.i keeped to made me became more strong,but actually was lose and can't stand more longer the feeling.yesterday i whole day just only slept...haizz

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Dream......

Just now i having a nice dream,i saw a pastor and any group member in my dream,i was very happy and besides that,we going to one food stored prepared to taken a dinner,in the dream,in this dream,me and other member joking,played the game whereas the pastor are together with us, Suddenly,the pastor said;the word of god to us,he said,if somebody made a mistaken or any sin in their life must put the effort to take it away with the love from the god,he also said,who body have the oath in their body,it can disappeared with the power of god,but must step by step,because the demon was trying destroyed us,but with the god power we can do anything....i very happy because if i continue prayed and studies the word of god,the oath in my body was gone,jesus i love you much than the human in the world,jesus you are the best,thank you jesus,glory glory my god,i worship you,in addition,you gave me a strong,braved,intelligence and other.in jesus name i pray.amen

Badness





Yesterday night i having my badness feeling,in the begun i can't coping that types of feel,but lastly i solved.Actually i goes to the church listen the word of god,i very appreacited the people fetch me to fga,i was very angry the time pastor said about we must forgave my parent,he said must forgive everyone member on my home,i can't forgave them,i hated my parent,i hated them,all of them,why i can't grew up in the perfectly family,why their divorced during i still in small,i hated them,nobody can understood that feeling.,

Besides that,not only their divorces,they also used something to hitted me without any reason,i can't washed out the picture in my head,i was bedgrudge the people have a perfectly family,i very hated during that situation,why i so envy about that,why i must in single parent family,nobody know i have much an individual matter during i grew up....


i so painful on my heart,my heart was broken,i so uncomfortable when someone talking about their family,i don't know,i don't know,now was very confusing.....

Friday, January 9, 2009

Empty

no more thing i wanted write on my blog,i don't know why the feeling of last time in my heart was gone,started now i have many thing need to do such as glory the god and need to cover and also put effort on my studies,i don't care anymore,So i will no always write the blog,some of my problem i will keeping on my heart,i will trying my best to cope anything happen around me,sadness gone...no feeling,like my heart already blind,after that i need to write down the day of my birthday...continue



god bless everybody in the world,i love you,i love you much............