Sunday, July 26, 2009
hahahaha,now i already change to new cg group,but i don't know who is my member on this group,i didn't go to the chuch yesterday,and today i also same because fever,is it this is the way i leave the church,the people on the church much of them is talented,smart and potential,me just like a tiny of seed and no serve to my lord,i really useless,why i still can't same as other people live in jesus life.destroy myself to dissappear on this world,my body split up,really crazy at this period,i lose everything,i lost,i miserable........
Friday, July 24, 2009
miss you
During few day ago, i received a bad news and good news in my life,the good news is the mark of my examination have improved, and the otherside have build a closes relationship between me and my classmate.
But the bad news is more than good news,one of the teacher were leave our SPUS school,she name M.s Andrea,she is pretty,somemore she is funny,i miss her so much,before she leave the college,she still take care about me,such as education....etc.the first day i met her and she always drop my face in front of people,that time i really hate her,but now i really understand why she treat me like that.she put more hopeful on me.may god bless you ms.andrea.
Moreover,our church reform a new group of cg,i very miss heart 13@10,but whatever have any changed on the cg,that is the work of god,god will give anything best to us,we just only follow his step and brighter road,all will have a miracle on the god.
But the bad news is more than good news,one of the teacher were leave our SPUS school,she name M.s Andrea,she is pretty,somemore she is funny,i miss her so much,before she leave the college,she still take care about me,such as education....etc.the first day i met her and she always drop my face in front of people,that time i really hate her,but now i really understand why she treat me like that.she put more hopeful on me.may god bless you ms.andrea.
Moreover,our church reform a new group of cg,i very miss heart 13@10,but whatever have any changed on the cg,that is the work of god,god will give anything best to us,we just only follow his step and brighter road,all will have a miracle on the god.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Sick......
yesterday was a bad day for me,long time i didn't sick until like this,but yesterday the sick was make me pain(backbone and head),suffer and miserable.moreover,the incident which past many year ago flooded on my mind,i cry,sad and suddenly felt afraid to be lonely,alone.i ask why the person do this for me,why the person leave me without a notice and i hate this person,whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhwyhwywhywhywhywhywhywhy,this person sometimes really made me suffered,HEART BROKEN,SAD,ALONE AND CRY...........
Monday, July 6, 2009
yesterday is history,today is gift,tommorow is mystery
yesterday around 8 o'clock,suddenly the ye qi and wei lin invite me go out to for dinner,the dinner what i taken is "han yu fa lan fan",this dishes which i take is very undelicious, it not same as last time i consume at other places.
after the dinner,we all chatting,but no topic for me to me elaborate.just only talk many unhelping topic.i don't know what kind of the people i am,sometimes can't corporate with other people,maybe my attitude is different with other people or each person has their own attitude,sometimes i also want spend out more time with them to build good relationship,but only can speak to god,they all go to cinema or other places not invited me already,just call me back to pray,i know pray is important,but during in this world we also must build a relationship between each other.
Day by day i go through,i started losing myself and started miserable,i afraid alone,at the same time i can hear the god and devil voice to disturb me do something terrible.i very happy new friend Alex wong also have coming yamcha with us.i believe the god will do the miracle work on him,i slowly start destroy by the demon work,it always disturb me during i getting close with the god.
The history which already happened in the past for my own always flooded in my mind,i very sad,happy and emotion uncontrollable. i always prevent or avoid this happen just went out with my friend,but i not much of friend,just the church friend i have and a little bit friend i have.use the hand also can calculated.i very struggle and miser in my life....i already many time miss the bible class,something started happen to me,i don't know how long i can cope it,always tell god to help me,but started tire tire..........next year is my 21 year old birtday,in my dream is i can received many present and have a party from many many people,i hope can become a one day child,i desire can become a child,but i need to know now i'm adult..child very happy,but i didn't has experiences all of that life when i first born on that house,i love my grandfather,he very care about me.
Moreover,i hate other people,but now because has a god,the hate already reduced,but need the time to heal my all pain,sometimes i will asking god why this happen to me,why????????
after the dinner,we all chatting,but no topic for me to me elaborate.just only talk many unhelping topic.i don't know what kind of the people i am,sometimes can't corporate with other people,maybe my attitude is different with other people or each person has their own attitude,sometimes i also want spend out more time with them to build good relationship,but only can speak to god,they all go to cinema or other places not invited me already,just call me back to pray,i know pray is important,but during in this world we also must build a relationship between each other.
Day by day i go through,i started losing myself and started miserable,i afraid alone,at the same time i can hear the god and devil voice to disturb me do something terrible.i very happy new friend Alex wong also have coming yamcha with us.i believe the god will do the miracle work on him,i slowly start destroy by the demon work,it always disturb me during i getting close with the god.
The history which already happened in the past for my own always flooded in my mind,i very sad,happy and emotion uncontrollable. i always prevent or avoid this happen just went out with my friend,but i not much of friend,just the church friend i have and a little bit friend i have.use the hand also can calculated.i very struggle and miser in my life....i already many time miss the bible class,something started happen to me,i don't know how long i can cope it,always tell god to help me,but started tire tire..........next year is my 21 year old birtday,in my dream is i can received many present and have a party from many many people,i hope can become a one day child,i desire can become a child,but i need to know now i'm adult..child very happy,but i didn't has experiences all of that life when i first born on that house,i love my grandfather,he very care about me.
Moreover,i hate other people,but now because has a god,the hate already reduced,but need the time to heal my all pain,sometimes i will asking god why this happen to me,why????????
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